We've sent you Plokta because:

	You have been maligned in this fanzine, Your Royal Highness
	You have been maligned in this fanzine, commoner
	Your letter warmed the cockles of our heart
	We suspect you may be a Northern Hairy-Nosed Wombat and we need you for a captive breeding programme
	We think we're trading with you; it was this or $24 in beads
	You asked for a copy. Dr Plokta will be round to take your temperature shortly
	We understand you do a fine fannish publication, and we'd like to trade
	Loc now or be consigned to Antarctica with only penguins for company
	You're known to be fond of caffeine or alcohol
	Dr Plokta wants you to help him achieve world domination
	Only six people in your postcode area have been chosen to receive this unique fanzine (NB: Does not apply to E17 or CB1)
	We have a baby for sale, cheap. Little used, two careful owners
	You are Kev McVeigh and you could just have asked for a copy
	HELLO! asked us to do a photospread about you
	Don't panic; it was all a mistake.
	You're a beneficiary of our Fanzines For Australia Appeal
	We think you're warped; you can blame your parents
	Kung Hei Fat Choy
	You were a zombie dachshund in a previous life