Ask Dr Plokta

Dear Dr. Plokta, I was interested to read about your plans for world domination in Plokta 6. I, too, was planning to rule the world, starting with a small offshore island, and working up to global hegemony. ¡However, I was recently made unexpectedly redundant! ¿I wonder if you have a suitable position for me in your organisation? My CV is enclosed, and I look forward to hearing from you soon.

-- M*ch**l D*nz*l X*v**r P*rt*ll*

Dr. Plokta replies: Anyone who is unable to maintain domination over Enfield is hardly world dictator material. I recommend you seek a position better suited to your background and abilities. Fortunately, my friend Basil Fawlty has a vacancy following the recent departure of his colleague Manuel. I have forwarded your CV to him.


I wouldn't say Steve is techno-obsessed, but he keeps Wired subscription forms in the toilet...


Dear Dr. Plokta, Make $$$ Fast! You too can enjoy a high standard of living without work!! You are known to be a visionary. Just send 1000 in used fivers to me, and I promise not to send you any more e-mail, or the recipe for Neiman Marcus cookies.

-- Cr**g Sh*rg*ld (19)

Dr. Plokta replies: Dear Craig, just whose internet do you think it is anyway?


Dear Dr. Plokta, I was interested to read about your plans for world domination in Plokta 6. I suddenly find myself petty dictator of a small offshore island. As I have no experience in this field, do you have any good tips?

-- pm@gov.uk

Dr. Plokta replies: Don't worry, Peter; you seem to be doing perfectly well to me.


Dear Dr Plokta, as a science fiction fanzine, don't you think Plokta ought to mention science fiction from time to time?

-- SF Reader

Dr Plokta replies: No. You're confusing science fiction fandom with fans of science fiction.


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