We've sent you Plokta because:

	You have been thinly disguised as an aardvark in this fanzine
	You sent us a LoC! We've edited it shamelessly!
	You sent us another LoC! Will you never learn?
	You sent us your fanzine. Watch out for reviews next issue
	You asked for a copy. LoC or we send your e-mail address to cyberpromo
	Send us your fanzine; Dr Plokta's short of things to read eat on his South Seas Island
	The Great Plokta Mailing List Cull will reach you next issue
	You have won a special Fyffe for Most Dubious Circumstances under which to Propose Marriage 1997
	You are mentioned somewhere deep in the bowels of this fanzine, allegedly
	We trade. You Jane.
	You are believed to be a practitioner of devil-worship yoga
	You voted Conservative and need something to cheer you up
	You are a major character in Alison's lucid dreams
	You were a pupil at St. Gestetner's
	We suspect you of tunnelling under airport runways. Are you a Thunderbird?
	You are an expert at Yogic flying
	You appreciate Pam's skill at baking
	We would like you to join our class action against the sellers of addictive computer products
	Your sirloin steak has been mutilated by aliens
	You are sexually attracted to chipmunks
	We prodded you and you didn't move. Are you a peer of the realm?
	<Your tickbox here>

Michael Abbott and Dave Mooring shown in the
stylish and sexy Intervention Security uniform

All I want for Christmas is an independent nuclear deterrent on my mantelpiece