We've sent you Plokta because:
You have been maligned in this fanzine
Although we haven't got round to insulting you yet, give us time; we're working on it
Counsel advised us to remove the reference to you that this fanzine originally contained
You sent us a LoC! More! More!
You sent us your fanzine
Send us your fanzine; the hall needs re-papering
Only you can save Mankind
Three issues and no response. We suspect you're dead. LoC now or we send your obituary to Ansible
We can't afford anything better
Pre-ticked box You visited our World Wide Web page. Sad bunny, aren't you?
You might be interested in guerrilla web consultancy
You are a rampant hot tottie sex kitten (allegedly)
You mentioned us in Critical Wave but didn't send us a copy, you bastards
Your technology is more superfluous than ours
You like pictures of barely-dressed, anorexic elves
Plokta is insufficiently serious. Please send more angst
The Tory party used your eyes in an advert
We think you may be having octuplets and we want to buy your story
We're planning furtive guerrilla activity at your convention and we thought it best to warn you
We're running out of incriminating photos, please send us a fresh supply

New Plokta -- New Danger

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