We've sent you Plokta because:

	You have been maligned in this fanzine
	Although we haven't got round to insulting you yet, give us time; we're working on it
	Counsel advised us to remove the reference to you that this fanzine originally contained
	You sent us a LoC! More! More!
	You sent us your fanzine
	Send us your fanzine; the hall needs re-papering
	Only you can save Mankind
	Three issues and no response. We suspect you're dead. LoC now or we send your obituary to Ansible
	We can't afford anything better
	You visited our World Wide Web page. Sad bunny, aren't you?
	You might be interested in guerrilla web consultancy
	You are a rampant hot tottie sex kitten (allegedly)
	You mentioned us in Critical Wave but didn't send us a copy, you bastards
	Your technology is more superfluous than ours
	You like pictures of barely-dressed, anorexic elves
	Plokta is insufficiently serious. Please send more angst
	The Tory party used your eyes in an advert
	We think you may be having octuplets and we want to buy your story
	We're planning furtive guerrilla activity at your convention and we thought it best to warn you
	We're running out of incriminating photos, please send us a fresh supply