Miscellaneous Bollocks

Stop Press

Scientists warn that there is new evidence of a statistically significant correlation between voting for Banana Wings in the Novas, and strange things appearing in your cleavage. A typical sufferer appears below:

Naomi with a horse in her cleavage
Naomi feels a little horse

A Bridge Too Far

Frequent Plokta contributor Pam Wells will miss Novacon this year, choosing instead to jump out of an aeroplane in support of Children in Need. We will be collecting money at Novacon to speed her on her way, and urge you all to give generously. Spoilsports wanting to buy her a parachute can also contribute if they wish.

Parachuting Pam
Pam the Purple Pancake Paratrooper

Thog say, "Haiku are/A poser

Millennium Update

Those of you who have been following previous issues will know that Plokta is seeking Lottery money to install a propeller on the top of the Millennium Dome. Many of you have written to us to ask what you can do to support this endeavour. Well, we've put our heads together and are delighted to announce the Plokta Enterprises Millennium Dome Propeller Beanie. Yes, you too can be the envy of every kid on your block with this unique and charming accoutrement. This exclusive item of Millennium apparel is available at the low, low price of 1999, or signed by Peter Mandelson for 4000.

Steven, Marianne and Dome Beanies

Above: One size fits all! Below: an artist's impression of the finished Dome.

Fannish Millennium Dome

Socialism is passé.
Let's do gardens now.

Season's Greetings

Frosty the Golem So there we were on rec.arts.sf.fandom, discussing religion. As you do. And we were talking about non-religious winter songs, which the non-Christians reading the group alleged were full of Christian imagery anyway. As an example they cited the resurrection of Frosty the Snowman. Avram Grumer considered this carefully, and posted

"No, no. Frosty's a golem.

There must have been some magic in
That word carved on his head.
'Cause when we rubbed the aleph off
He toppled over dead...

All the News that Won't Get Us Sued

In a doomed attempt to keep Dr. Plokta out of Bedlam mischief, we have persuaded him to set up a fannish news service on the World Wide Web. You can reach the Plokta News Network by turning your dial to http://www.plokta.com/pnn. All manner of stuff appears there, including things that aren't in Plokta. Feel free to support PNN by reading the web site, subscribing to the mailing list, doing scandalous things we can report on, and reporting on the scandals of your enemies.

Unsolicited Testimonial

"This is the best web site I've ever seen" said Nova-award-winning artist Sue Mason. "Of course, it's the only web site I've ever seen."

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